By David E. Monday
“A Vocal Middle Class Is Challenging the Status Quo.”
Poverty does not always define a person’s character; sometimes, it merely conceals attitudes that prosperity eventually reveals.
Recently, while listening to a colleague on a Kaduna radio station, I found myself reflecting deeply on a recurring mentality in our society the belief that once a person becomes successful, experiences a change in financial circumstances, or enjoys what they describe as God’s grace, they must distance themselves from the people who once shared their struggles.
Statements such as “You can fight grace, but his time has come,” or suggestions that one must change friends immediately or change location of residence … after making it in life, may sound like declarations of personal triumph.
Yet, beneath such expressions lie important questions about humility, gratitude, friendship and our understanding of success.
Certainly, nobody should be compelled to remain in stagnant, exploitative or unhealthy relationships simply because of a shared history. Growth sometimes demands change.
However, there is a profound difference between changing one’s circumstances and developing contempt for those who once stood beside us when life offered little reason to celebrate.
WHEN SUCCESS BECOMES A TEST OF CHARACTER
Across Nigeria and Africa, we have witnessed people transform their lives through education, employment, business, property acquisition and positions of influence.
Some secure prestigious jobs, acquire land, build beautiful houses, earn master’s degrees or PhDs, and rise to positions they once only imagined.
These are worthy achievements, deserving of celebration.
But why must success sometimes come with an exaggerated sense of superiority, as though those who have not yet arrived are less intelligent, less hardworking or less favoured by God?
The Bible reminds us in Proverbs 16:18 that pride goes before destruction, while James 1:17 teaches that every good and perfect gift comes from above.
Success should enlarge our hearts, not inflate our egos. It should deepen our gratitude, not diminish our respect for others.
The true test of achievement is not merely what we acquire, but the kind of human beings we become in the process.
Sometimes, the people who appear most confident about their accomplishments forget that the road to success is rarely as straightforward as their public declarations suggest.
Behind every breakthrough may lie years of sacrifice, but behind another person’s delay may lie circumstances the world knows nothing about.
Not everyone who is struggling is lazy. Not everyone who is prosperous is necessarily more deserving.
Life is far more complicated than such simplistic judgments.
THE NOSTALGIA OF OUR STRUGGLING YEARS
There is something deeply nostalgic about remembering the days when friendship was measured by loyalty rather than financial capacity.
There were days when a simple meal shared among friends was more valuable than an expensive dinner attended by strangers.
There were seasons when a phone call, a word of encouragement, a borrowed transport fare or the willingness to listen was worth more than the possessions people now display.
Some of the people we celebrate today once depended on the encouragement, sacrifices and goodwill of others.
Some were given opportunities by people who had no reason to believe they would eventually become influential.
Others were carried through difficult seasons by friends whose names may never appear in their success stories.
Yet, after prosperity arrives, some people seem to develop selective memories, they remember their victories but forget their vulnerabilities.
They celebrate those who can contribute to their ambitions but overlook those who once contributed to their survival.
Is this not one of life’s most painful ironies?
The same person who once prayed for an opportunity may eventually mock another person who is praying for one.
The individual who once needed a recommendation may become unwilling to recommend a competent but less-connected colleague.
The person who once needed encouragement may become the loudest critic of someone still struggling to find direction.
Perhaps the real tragedy is not that people become wealthy, but that some become wealthy without developing the emotional maturity to understand their own journey.
WHEN POVERTY BECOMES A REASON FOR HUMILIATION
My concern extends beyond personal relationships. It touches the roots of poverty, envy, social division and the failure of collective progress in our society.
When successful people ridicule those who are still struggling, treat former companions as liabilities, or reserve their generosity exclusively for people who already possess wealth and influence, they reinforce the social barriers that keep many people disadvantaged.
Consider a young graduate who finally secures a good job.
Instead of encouraging an unemployed friend, sharing useful information or recommending a deserving candidate, the graduate begins to behave as though unemployment is proof of laziness.
Consider a family whose son builds a house, whose daughter earns a doctorate, or whose relative acquires a car.
Instead of allowing the achievement to inspire the entire family, pride turns the occasion into a competition of status, silent insults and unnecessary comparisons.
Why must another person’s achievement become a weapon against someone else’s dignity?
Why must a person’s present hardship become a permanent label on their identity?
Our society does not always reward merit, patience and hard work fairly.
Connections, corruption, unequal opportunities, economic hardship and institutional weaknesses can delay the progress of deserving people.
Consequently, we must be careful not to interpret every personal breakthrough as evidence of superior character or every delayed breakthrough as proof of divine rejection.
A person’s financial condition is not a complete biography of their intelligence, discipline, potential or worth.
GRACE, GRATITUDE AND THE DANGER OF PRIDE
Faith is a source of hope, strength and inspiration for millions of people. Many sincerely attribute their breakthroughs to divine grace, and nobody should begrudge them the opportunity to express gratitude to God.
However, the language of grace should inspire humility rather than superiority.
If we believe that our opportunities are blessings, should those blessings not make us more compassionate towards people who are still waiting for their own opportunities?
First Corinthians 4:7 challenges us to consider what we possess that we did not receive. Galatians 6:2 calls us to bear one another’s burdens.
These biblical principles remind us that gratitude should lead to responsibility.
If we have received an opportunity, we should consider how that opportunity might also become a source of encouragement, support and progress for others.
Grace should not become a badge with which we humiliate those whose circumstances differ from ours.
Neither should prayer become an instrument for dismissing the legitimate struggles of people who are working hard but have yet to achieve their desired results.
The fact that one person’s prayers appear to have been answered sooner does not mean that another person’s life has been abandoned.
FAITH MUST WALK HAND IN HAND WITH RESPONSIBILITY
Let us be clear prayer is powerful, faith is important, and gratitude to God is necessary.
But prayer must not become an excuse for idleness or an alternative to responsible action.
James 2:17 teaches that faith without works is dead. Proverbs 14:23 reminds us that all hard work brings profit, while mere talk can lead to poverty.
We must pray, think, learn, plan, work, acquire relevant skills, exercise discipline, build meaningful networks and take advantage of legitimate opportunities.
At the same time, we must demand accountable leadership, better governance, quality education, fair employment practices and institutions that reward merit rather than merely celebrate connections.
Individual responsibility and collective responsibility are not enemies,they complement each other.
We should encourage people to work towards their goals while also acknowledging that personal effort alone cannot eliminate every structural obstacle.
A society that celebrates hard work must equally strive to create conditions in which hard work has a fair chance of producing results.
We cannot sincerely demand an end to poverty while celebrating a culture that humiliates the poor, hoards opportunities and mistakes selfishness for sophistication.
LIFE HAS NO UNIVERSAL TIMETABLE
One of the greatest mistakes we make is assuming that everybody must achieve the same things at the same age.
One person may become a professor at forty. Another may establish a successful business at fifty. Someone else may discover fulfilment through public service, craftsmanship, family leadership or community development much later in life.
Political leadership also offers examples of different timelines.
Barack Obama became President of the United States at 47, while Donald Trump first assumed the presidency at 70.
Their experiences illustrate how people can reach major milestones at different stages of life.
Life does not operate according to a single timetable.
Some people rise early; others rise later. Some experience opportunities that others never encounter.
Some face responsibilities, setbacks or disadvantages that are invisible to the outside world.
Therefore, another person’s progress should not become a reason for our insecurity, just as our own progress should not become a reason for another person’s humiliation.
The person you overlook today may become the person whose wisdom, kindness, partnership or assistance you value tomorrow.
Circumstances change, fortunes fluctuate, and life has a way of reminding us that nobody possesses complete control over the future.
Humility is therefore not weakness. It is an honest recognition of our shared humanity and the uncertainty of life.
WHAT WILL REMAIN WHEN THE WEALTH IS GONE?
We arrived in this world with nothing, and whatever our material achievements, we will eventually leave without taking our houses, cars, academic titles or bank balances with us.
What remains is the character we demonstrated, the people we helped, the opportunities we created and the positive difference we made.
When the applause fades, the expensive clothes become memories and the public displays of success disappear, what will people remember about us?
Will they remember our kindness or our arrogance? Will they remember the doors we opened or the people we shut out? Will they remember that we encouraged others to rise or that we made them feel small because they had not yet arrived?
These are questions worth asking while we still have the opportunity to make a difference.
A truly successful professional mentors younger colleagues.
A responsible employer creates opportunities for competent people.
A compassionate neighbour offers assistance without turning generosity into public humiliation.
An influential citizen uses access and connections to advance deserving causes.
Such actions do not diminish personal achievement. They give achievement a deeper meaning.
Wealth can purchase comfort, education can confer knowledge, and influence can provide access.
But none of these automatically guarantees wisdom, kindness or good character,
those qualities must be cultivated.
A CALL TO HUMILITY, SOLIDARITY AND COLLECTIVE PROGRESS
My reflection is not an attack on wealth, success or personal ambition.
I celebrate achievement and encourage everyone to pursue a better life.
Rather, I advocate a culture in which success produces humility, wealth inspires generosity, education promotes wisdom, and divine grace deepens compassion.
Let us celebrate one another without envy, work without excuses, pray without abandoning responsibility, and pursue prosperity without sacrificing our humanity.
Let us remember the people who encouraged us when our dreams were still fragile.
Let us make room for others at the table, recommend deserving people when opportunities arise, and offer guidance without demanding that those we help become indebted to us forever.
The Golden Rule reminds us to treat others as we would wish to be treated. It is a simple principle, yet its practical application could transform our families, workplaces, communities and nation.
The real measure of having made it in life is not how far we have risen above the people we once knew, but how many people can rise because we have risen.
Nigeria needs citizens who understand that personal success and collective progress can coexist.
Our communities need people who see prosperity as an opportunity to contribute, not merely a platform for self advertisement.
Our families need individuals who can celebrate achievement without turning it into a competition.
And our society needs a middle class that challenges injustice, questions the status quo and uses its growing voice to advocate fairness, accountability and opportunity for all.
Ultimately, life is not simply about arriving at the top. It is about what we do when we get there.
May our success never erase our memories, our wealth never silence our conscience, and our achievements never make us forget the humanity of others.
Let us build a society in which people are respected not only for what they possess, but also for what they contribute to the lives of others.
That is the kind of success our families need, our communities deserve, and Nigeria urgently requires.
My compelling, nostalgic narrative!
…..The writer is the Media Today Nigeria, Kaduna Senior Correspondent.