Stress – A Major Killer

By Gloria Okezie-Okafor

NEWSDAILYNIGERIA: Before you ask me if I’m in the medical or psychological field, let me start by saying that I am not. In fact, reading medical journals or those psychiatry write-ups can be quite boring and demanding – apologies to those in the field. I even struggle to read prescription leaflets – you don’t expect me to commit suicide from ignorance, do you?

But be this as it may, even the blind, dumb, and deaf, understand that it is so difficult to live and survive in today’s world. I lost a young friend recently – a beautiful lady who got married barely two years ago, to a loving man. My good friend is known to be a workaholic. And after she got married, she didn’t know what the word STOP meant when it came to her career. She had her head full of dreams she would love to accomplish, and she went for it.

I have used her on many occasions as role models to other young women when I had the chance to. She is successful and she speaks it. In fact, I wished I had her energy and her guts. But while we were carried away with the miles she covered, no one would imagine that her body begged for some rest. My friend had a brief illness, and thought she could see the doctor at the close of work; but she had to be rushed out of the office a few hours later because she slumped.

The husband was notified, and later that night, my dear friend was confirmed dead. She was said to have died from a heart attack. Here was a woman who made it her routine to check her health and be on a good diet. She also was very physically active. And since there was no history of heart disease or other such ailments in her family, she believed she couldn’t be a victim of an unexpected emergency.

Given all these facts, what else could have killed a woman in her early thirties who had so much already going well for her? What could have ended her dreams of raising beautiful children as she climbs the success ladder? If you asked me, it can only be stress. And we are all walking dead in the face of today’s ever demanding world.

When we are trying to make our home work – stress. When we need to pass that exam – stress. When we want to get that promotion – stress. When we want to reach a certain figure from our investment – stress. When the kid spends six or seven hours in school – stress. It’s everywhere. So you see, I don’t have to be a doctor or a psychologist to tell you this was the problem. Maybe you, too, are going through your own stress at this moment.

My young friend left behind a good career which would now be occupied by someone else. She also left behind a wonderful husband who would later accept the reality of finding himself another sweetheart. And of course her dreams of making babies in the marriage are over. For those of us who knew her, it was a big loss. But the lessons are there for us to learn.

Some of us have become so good at denying ourselves rest; some of us have even perfected the art of sleeping three or four hours out of the twenty-four hours in the day. Much as it may seem fun pursuing what we love, there would be a day of reckoning – how soon, we have no idea. And if we are unlucky like my friend, we may not have the chance to make any amends.

As much as we adults can have stress, children too, go through much stress – even excessive play can bring about its own stress. Let’s try another word for stress to get the fuller picture here: pressure, tension, emphasis, pursuit, strain. You can add your own words. And who is not familiar with any of these experiences? At the back of stress is fear – the desire to get it right or not be caught unaware. Some of us even kill ourselves before death comes.

The one word that counter stress is ‘regulation’ – give me some kudos here, I just made a discovery and I’m sure doctors would be happy to recommend this to their patients (smiles). Whichever way this goes, life requires that we regulate how we pursue things: leave the stage when you have to; delegate some task; run from people who put so much workload on you; pay attention to your body, mind and spirit; spend time with things that gives you joy; forgive your stupidity and don’t repeat another; stop expecting others to give you happiness, eat right and find time to rest. Knowing that your life, no matter how miserable or inconsequential you may consider it to be, is important to that special someone.

So, take a deep breath, smile, ease up, let something go. Allow others to care for you sometimes; don’t always stick to a 100% perfection; forgive your enemy; don’t let fear get in the way; sometimes allow yourself to get lazy just for fun. Yes, you deserve to be your best and live the best while you still have breath. Avoid stress, it kills.