Marriage System In Gworok( Kagoro) Culture- Ancient And Modern: Types, Procedures And Requirements

By Emmanuel Gandu

INTRODUCTION
Marriage is the coming together in a union and relationship between a man and a woman in which the independence and dependence is mutual, equal and reciprocal.
In Kagoro culture, people marry and and are give in marriage just as any other tribe does in Southern Kaduna. Sometimes people are forced into marriage in Kagoro just like in any other tribe. The difference however, is the way and manner Kagoro society contracts and performs the various marriage rites.

TYPES OF MARRIEGE IN GWOROK
According to Kagoro culture and tradition, there are three principal types of marriages performed for the convenience in which each of the different circumstances presents themselves. Interestingly, each of the three types comes with different rules of engagement and rituals.
These 3 types are :
(1) Tin Ebiuk (Maiden/primary marriage). This is a girl that has not been married off before.

(2) Widow inheritance :
(a) Sak Ebiuk – A man marries his late brother’s wife.
(b) Sak Ayang – A man marries his late father’s wife (not his own biological mother).

(3) Secondary marriage :
(a) Swat Ali – marriage of a divorcee.
(b) Kwak Ebiuk – forceful capture of someone else’ wife (abduction).
The forceful seizure of another person’s wife was and still practiced within Kagoro by men of different communities. It was also done with other neighbouring tribes.
When Kwak Abiuk occurred, it usually led to retaliation from the clan of the husband who’s wife was forcefully seized, then next followed by the community.
Retaliation was by two methods :
(i) ‘Kwak’ or forceful seizure of another person’s wife in the offending clan by the offended clan. This serves both as a revenge and a replcement.
(ii) Direct attack on the offending clan in order to secure and retrieve the captured wife. Sometimes, weapons of war were used in the attack.
(c) Tswo Ebiuk (Elopment) : This is Elopment of wife. The woman decides to go to the man’s house as his wife purely becsuse she loves him and cannot wait for the formalities of marriage rites and arrangement by the two families for such a marriage to happen.

TIN EBIUK (MAIDEN MARRIAGE)
Introduction :
This is the marriage of a young girl who has never been married out before.
The ultimate desire of any Kagoro parent is to send forth their daughter in marriage to a healthy hard working son in-law, and for their son to bring home a deserving, fruitful and industrious maiden for a wife.
If identified, a lot more effort is put into action to make the union a reality, and in accordance with the Kagoro norms, culture, tradition and rites.
Please enjoy some of the procedure that makes Kagoro community a proud custodian of the cherished ideals of man’s oldest vocation – marriage.

MARRIAGE RITES IN ANCIENT KAGORO
In ancient Gworok society the father or uncle of a son on getting the information of the delivery of a baby girl in the community takes a hoe to the family compound of the newly born baby girl as a sign of betrothal of that new born baby girl for their son.
The hoe is acceptable only if they are the first family to bring a hoe to the family of the baby girl.
With this acceptance, the father or uncle of the boy further concretize his intention that the girl be reserved for his son. He does this by taking a number of male chickens along with “Chuan” (grinded Ridi).
This new born baby girl grows up to be the wife of the boy whose parents are the first to bring the hoe.
At the right age of marriage, the two kids who have now grown up to adolescent age will be told of the pre marriage arrangements their parents had made for them. Usually, the young boy and girl “will hardly kick against the wishes of their parents” – Didam (1991)

GENERAL CONCEPTS
Betrothal :
Betrothals are never made directly by the parents of the Gusiem (young boy) and that of the Guniem (young girl). The Gusiem’s father seeks in the Guniem’s clan for a man who is linked to his clan by affinity relationship and mentions his desire for his son to be bethroted to the identified Guniem. This man is referred to as Atendwak (go – between).
This Atendwak goes ahead to persuade the Guniem’s parents to agree to the propossal. The first Atendwak then seeks out another Atendwak who is more closely related to the Guniem’s father who will discuss the matter with the Guniem’s father. This means that there are 2 Atendwak – one for the boy and one for the girl. The betrothal procedure will commence only when there are these two Atendwak (go – between). Unless there are two such Atendwak, one from each side, there is no going ahead with the betrothal discussions.

PRELIMINARY BETROTHAL PROCEDURE
If both parties agree for the betrothal to commence, the following procedure is adhered to :

1. The Guniem must never been previously married.
2. There is never blood affinity/relationship with the Tusa (family and clan) between the family of the Gusiem and Guniem.
3. NWAK ANA – ‘Ana’ in Gworog means ‘bracelet’ ‘Nwak’ in Gworog means ‘give’. This is the stage where the father of the Gusiem gives a bracelet to the father of the Guniem.
4. A hoe is given by the father of the Gusiem to the father of the Guniem.
5. After the Guniem and her father have received the bracelet and the hoe from the Gusiems father, the betrothal is considered contracted and other procedures can proceed.
6. CHWAN (fried and grinded riddi) in a large calabash bowl, and containing roasted meat is given to the Guniem’s parents by the Gusiem’s parents. The Cwan and roasted meat is ritually handed over to the Guniem by her own mother in the presence of the Tenduwak and others of her Tusa (family). The Guniem signifies acceptance by eating some of the the Cwan, benniseed, and roasted meat while seated on an upturned mortar. The next stages of the betrothal procedures will then continue.
7. If she does not eat, it means the betrothal is rejected, and therefore, the gifts already collected from the Gusiem’s parents are all returned. This marks the end of that betrothal.
8. Tankai – a large calabash bowl of cooked beans covered in palm oil is given by the Guniem’s parents to the Tusa family of the Gusiem’s parents. This gesture is meant to publicly signify acknowledgement and acceptance of the betrothal/propossal.
9. When the Tankai which is the only gift from the Guniem’s parents to the Gusiem’s parents is recieved by the parents of the Gusiem, it signifies acceptance of the betrothal, and the two youths are now considered betrothed. These betrthed are then refered to as ASAK (husband and wife to be/in waiting).
10. Luo – (courtship). The two youths are now free to begin a courtship period where the boy will be paying occational visits to his Asak (berothed) that will last to the wedding day.

ACTIVITIES IN THE YEAR OF THE MARRIAGE
The following events and exchanges occur in the year of the wedding :
(1) Oekan Nduwo – One large pot of Oekan (locally brewed bear/burukutu) is given to the family of the bride to be by the family of the groom to be. This is to be used to publicly announce the betrothal of the two youths to neighbouring communities.
(2) Nywan Oewhop (Chickens for the elders) – Six big chickens are given by the groom’s family to the bride’s family for the entertainment of the elders of their clan.
(3) Zwon Oeyang (Goat for bride’s mother) – One (1) adult female goat is given to the bride’s mother by the groom’s parents as an appreciation, acknowledgement and a witness to her motherhood of the bride.
(4) Nywan Lip (Chicken for the asking) – Two (2) chickens cooked in benniseed are carried by the groom’s friends to the girls father to ask that the marriage day be set and fixed.

KPIRUNG (MARRIAGE/ WEDDING)
The act of moving the bride from her parent’s house to her husband’s parents home is known as Pkirung. It has the following stages of activities :
(1) The bride is taken to her husbands compound (family house). The delegation is led by three (3) women who must be the chief wives of the two Tenduwaks and one woman from the bride’s Anghiat (the brides’ mother’s family).

(2) The bride is kept in the room of her husband’s mother. These three (3) women remain with her overnight.

VIRGINITY TEST
The day after the Kpirung (wedding) in the morning hours, the wives of the Tenduwak takes the bride to the Tuu pkak (the hut used for thrashing and pounding grains) to test her virginity status. They give her a cooked liver of an egg – laying hen to lick twice with her tongue. The bride is instructed to spit out after each tasting lick.
After this, the hen’s liver is placed in the bride’s mouth for a period of about one hour. At the end of the one hour, the liver is removed from the bride’s mouth. If saliva is observed on the liver, the bride is not a virgin.

CONVEYANCE OF BRIDE’S DOWRY/PROPERTY TO HUSBAND’S HOME
The bride’s dowry/property is conveyed to her husband’s house on an agreed date. This include grains, palm and other oil, beans, locust – bean cake, calabashes, pots, axes, firewood, mats, threshing plates, etc.

CHANGE OF STATUS FROM BRIDE TO WIFE
(1) During the first couple of weeks in her husband’s home, the bride remains in her mother inlaw’s room. This is also where the bride dowry/property is kept. While with her mother inlaw, she undertakes small tasks as directed, but she is not permitted to cook. She is also not regarded by other women of the compound as a full wife.

(2) MYIO (bride’s room) – At the appropriate time, the bride’s mother inlaw gives permission for the bride’s dowry/property to be transfered to the bride’s room (Myio).
At this stage, the bride is expected to prepare a meal of choice food inspected by her mother inlaw, and distributed to the people.
After this, her status changes from bride to wife.
They can now be together in their own room as husband and wife.

However, many aspects of these practices began to witness gradual processes of transformation, changes, amendment, and discontinuity during the first years of the reign of Chief Gwamna Awan from 1945.

MODERN
MARRIAGE PRACTICES IN CONTEMPORARY KAGORO :
In modern Kagoro society the traditional practice of taking a hoe, male chickens and “Chuan” to the family of a new born baby girl as sign of betrothal is no longer in vogue.
This has been replaced by a grown up boy approaching a matured girl for her hand in marriage through the following and other laid down procedure :
(1) The elders/family members of the boy pay a special courtesy visit to the girl’s family to inform them of their son’s intention to seek the hand of their daughter for marriage.

(2) The girl’s family will request that they be given ample time to make a decision and get back to the family of the boy.

(3) Thorough investigation is done by the family of the maiden to ascertain the following :
(a) Is the family of the boy not in anyway related by blood to the family of the maiden ?
(b) Is the family of the boy free from having any unhealthy liability history in their linage like insanity, or any other thing that may not be acceptable to the maiden’s family.
(c) The outcome of the investigation will determine the response of the maiden’s family to the request from the boy’s family, and will be communicated either in the affirmative or decline in reasonable time.

(4) If in the affirmative in (3) above, the dedicated liaison marriage intermediaries (Tenduwak) of both clans will swing into action by arranging a mutually agreed meeting date of the two families at the home of the maiden where the request for the hand of the maiden in marriage is formally made known.

(5) On the meeting day between the two families,
(a) Both the boy and the maiden must be in attendance.
(b) It is in this meeting that the boy will identify the maiden and make known his proposal.
(c) The maiden will also accept or decline the proposal.
(d) If she declines, the entire meeting and further discussion comes to an end.
(d) If she accepts, the boy is expected to hand over to the maiden his sign and physical token of betrothal in full glare of every body present. This token serves in place of the hoe of the ancient Kagoro society. It may include an engagement ring, a bottle of special wine, beautifully wrapped cash gift, or anything that serves as an assurance that would cement the covenant.
(e) An agreed date is announced for the boy’s family to collect the bride list containing all the desired items in fulfilment for a maiden going in marriage.
(f) This special ceremony is rounded up with feasting, merriment, eating and drinking, and of course the beginning of bond/unity between the two families.

(6) (a) In decades past in Kagoro society there was a standard bride list/price approved by the elders and chiefs. This list and monetary cost was a reflection of the training, level and standard of education given to the maiden by her parents. The grading was done and graduated from bottom to top according to
(i)no school attended,
(ii)primary school attended,
(iii) teacher college/secondary school attended,
(iv) tertiary/University attended.
(b) However, in contemporary Kagoro society, the bride list differs from village to village, clan to clan, and family to family.
While some maiden families demand outrageously, others do not. It’s now a matter of individual volition since, according to the advocates of moderation, “Kagoro daughters are not for sale to the highest bidder.”

(7) On day of conveying bride items/price :
(a) The bride price and the items are conveyed to the maiden’s family on an acceptable date for both families.
(b) The boy, maiden and both parents may not necessarily be present at this ceremony.
(c) If all bride items are acceptable to the maiden’s family, the boy’s family may be expected to inform the maiden’s family the date for the wedding.
At the same time the maiden’s family is expected to agree with the date or negotiate for another convenient date.

(8) Oekan Ndwo (Ceremony of public announcement by the maiden’s family) :
(a) This is called “Oekan ndwo” in Gworog language.
(b) A date is announced by the maiden’s family to their clan and neighbouring clans to converge for the formal announcement of giving their daughter in marriage.
(c) Representatives of the boy’s family is expected to be present in this ceremony as a sign of public acknowledgement of their taking the hand of the maiden in marriage.
(d) There is refreshment of eating and drinking, entertainment and merry making during this public announcement ceremony called “Oekan ndwo.”
(e) The serving of drinks including the local Kagoro wine is supervised, presided over and done by one of the neighbouring clans and not by the clan of the maiden’s family.
(f) The maiden and the boy do not necessarily have to be present at the “Oekan ndwo” ceremony.

Nnuan Oegwaza nyin nshioa’a ?

Peace 🙏